Dealing with administrative tasks like scheduling doctor’s appointments is never fun, per se. It takes time and energy to research reputable healthcare providers, and once you’ve done that, it remains to be seen if you like and trust your doctor. When you’re struggling with a mental illness, like an eating disorder, figuring out the logistics may feel too overwhelming and you may not know where to start. We want to offer support and guidance to help make that initial step even a little bit easier.

We recognize that eating disorder treatment is complex and, unfortunately, not accessible for everyone. The Alliance is committed to continue working towards ensuring that all humans experiencing eating disorders are able to receive the care they need and deserve.⁠ Treatment should not be a luxury – it is a necessity.

“This is hard to say…” Bringing Up an Eating Disorder

The first step to getting help is often just saying something. Whether you’ve been struggling yourself or you’re worried about a loved one, these initial conversations can be some of the toughest. It’s hard to ask for help, especially since many mental illnesses face stigmas that can bring shame into the experience. Eating disorders are no different. This shame can make it feel impossible to admit you’ve been struggling. 

Additionally, we live in a culture that correlates vulnerability with weakness, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. As the academic and author Brené Brown has pointed out countless times, “There is no courage without vulnerability.”

Let us be upfront: an eating disorder is not your fault. Eating disorders develop due to a variety of factors, such as the interplay of genetics and certain environmental influences. They are not a choice, and you deserve support and recovery. 

How to Talk About It

There’s no right or wrong way to ask for help; the important thing is just reaching out. Often, it can help to find an unhurried moment with someone you trust. This could be a friend or a family member, or a more objective third party like a school counselor or youth leader. You don’t need to plan what you are going to say or even have all the words to express what you’re feeling. If you need somewhere to start, here are a few sentences that can help open up the space.

• “I’ve been struggling with something, and I wondered if I could talk to you about it.”
• “I’ve been having a hard time, and I need some support.”
• “I know you’ve been concerned about my eating, and it’s hard, but I want to talk about it.”
• “Do you have some time to talk right now? Can you help me with something?”

If none of those resonate, you can always start by just sharing how you are feeling. Whether you feel scared, sad, nervous, embarrassed, ashamed, frustrated, or even angry, all your feelings are valid.

Worried for a Loved One? Lead With Your Heart

If you’re on the other side of this conversation, remember to lead with love. Whether you’re bringing up a concern about someone or responding to someone asking for help, focus your relationship with the person at the center of the conversation. Supporting someone in their recovery journey is difficult in its own right. You want to hold firm in helping them get treatment, but you also want to prioritize their trust in you. 

In this initial conversation, let your loved one know how much you care about them, and thank them for being willing to share their struggles with you. If you can, offer to help them find treatment. Maybe you can call some treatment providers for them to get more information about options or perhaps you can even go with them to a doctor’s appointment. 

Talking to a Healthcare Provider

Whether you’ve had a conversation with someone in your support system or you are finding care for yourself, the next step may be talking to a healthcare provider. If you already have a primary care provider (PCP) you see for checkups, you can call their office and request an appointment to discuss your concerns about disordered eating or mental health. 

For some, a mental health therapist may be the first person they reach out to. When you work with a therapist, you will start with an intake appointment to talk about your struggles and explore the next steps. Again, you don’t need to have everything (or anything) figured out for yourself. The point of seeing a professional is that they are trained to know what questions to ask and how to support you.

What to Expect:

• You might feel nervous before the appointment—that’s completely normal.
• The doctor or therapist will likely ask about your eating habits, thoughts about food, and any physical symptoms you’ve been experiencing.
• They may also check your vitals and bloodwork to assess any immediate health concerns.
• The goal isn’t to judge you—it’s to understand what’s going on and figure out how to help.

Specialist Referrals

Because eating disorders affect both mental and physical health, your doctor or therapist might recommend seeing a specialist. A specialist is someone with specific training in treating eating disorders, and they might even focus on treatments for certain diagnoses like Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, or Binge Eating Disorder. In some cases, you might even get referred to multiple different specialists including mental health professionals, registered dietitians, and/or psychiatrists.

Will I Need to Go to the Hospital?

Eating disorders are mental health conditions, but they are complicated by the fact that they can have potentially severe physical consequences. In fact, eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. If you need medical or psychiatric stabilization, hospitalization may be necessary to get you to a more stable condition before pursuing further treatment. 

What to Expect:

• You may be given a list of referrals and asked to follow up with specialists on your own.
• Some providers may help schedule the next steps for you, especially if immediate care is needed.
• If the first provider you call doesn’t have availability, don’t get discouraged—sometimes, it takes a few tries to find the best fit.

Finding the Right Level of Care

After these initial appointments, the next step may be finding the right level of care to support your recovery. Eating disorder treatment can be delivered in a variety of settings and approaches, from outpatient to inpatient care. Outpatient care just means that you continue living at home but meet with providers during certain times, while inpatient care refers to programs that offer round-the-clock support. 

Eating disorder treatment, at any level of care, may include:

• Therapeutic Support (individual or group therapy): Addressing the emotional and psychological aspects of the disorder.
• Nutritional Counseling: Helping individuals build a balanced relationship with food and body.
• Medical Intervention: Monitoring and treating the physical impacts of an eating disorder.
• Support from loved ones, mentors, or recovery communities: Community can not only aid in decreasing isolation but provide individuals with a sense of belonging.

Some days, recovery may feel hopeful and empowering. On others, it can feel exhausting, frustrating, and uncertain. That’s part of the process. While some parts of the healing journey may feel uncomfortable, it’s also okay to ask for adjustments if something isn’t working. Recovery happens in a different way and on a different timeline for everyone.

Resources for Finding Treatment

Along with connecting with your doctor or therapist for referrals, there are organizations specifically dedicated to helping people find eating disorder treatment. These resources can provide treatment referrals, support groups, and educational materials to help you or your loved one navigate recovery.

Those are some of what we offer at the National Alliance for Eating Disorders. The Alliance is a national nonprofit organization that provides free access to care through clinician-led programs, including our therapist-staffed helpline, virtual and in-person support groups, and educational training for communities and healthcare providers.

For assistance in finding eating disorder treatment options, please call our toll-free number at 866-662-1235 or email us at referrals@allianceforeatingdisorders.com. We can provide referrals to all levels of care from eating disorder-specialized therapists and dietitians to acute medical stabilization. You can also search for resources on findEDhelp.com, our interactive database that includes eating disorder treatment options at all levels of care.

Whether you’re looking for a support group, a therapist, or guidance on treatment options, The Alliance is a great place to start.

What Now? Making the First Connections

Now that you have a better understanding of what eating disorder treatment could entail and how to get connected with care, you might be wondering, what comes next? First, know this: you are not alone.

Reaching out for help—whether it’s to a friend, family member, therapist, or an organization like The Alliance—can be the first step toward recovery. It’s okay if you’re feeling unsure or nervous. Healing isn’t always straightforward, and finding the right care can take time. But every step you take is a step in the right direction.