When people talk about trauma responses, most of us have heard of fight, flight, or freeze. But there is a fourth response that is often overlooked: fawn.
The “fawn” response is about keeping the peace, no matter the cost. Fawning is a trauma response where someone prioritizes another person’s needs, safety, or approval over their own in order to avoid conflict or harm. It can develop in environments where people learn that appeasing others feels safer than expressing their own needs.
Eric Dorsa, a nationally recognized LGBTQ+ mental health advocate and activist, talks about their experience with the fawn response.
Trauma Doesn’t Always Look a Certain Way
Fawning can show up in many ways, often rooted in the desire to maintain safety or prevent conflict. Some common signs include:
- Difficulty setting or maintaining personal boundaries
- Conflict avoidance or fear of disagreement
- People-pleasing behaviors
- Feeling responsible for fixing other people’s emotions or problems
- Prioritizing others’ needs over your own well-being
- Fear of abandonment or rejection
- Perfectionism or constant self-monitoring
These behaviors are not personality flaws. They are often coping mechanisms developed in response to unsafe or unpredictable environments.
How to Recognize the Pattern
For many individuals, recognizing the fawn response happens later in life, often during therapy or recovery work. What once felt like “just being agreeable” or “keeping the peace” may actually be a survival strategy formed during periods of stress or trauma.
Over time, this pattern can affect relationships, identity, and a person’s sense of safety. Individuals who default to fawning may struggle to identify their own needs or feel guilt when asserting themselves.
Moving Toward Healing and Self-Awareness
Recovery from trauma is not about eliminating responses, and it won’t happen overnight. The process includes recognizing triggers, developing healthier boundaries, and finding support from trusted people or mental health professionals.
For Eric, healing meant shifting from shame to curiosity. This meant learning how trauma shaped their reactions and discovering new ways to respond when they felt triggered.
What to Do if You Notice Yourself Fawning
Eric shares several practices they use when they feel pulled toward a fawn response:
- Check the facts: Pause and ground yourself before reacting.
- Allow multiple emotions: It’s possible to feel upset and still choose forgiveness.
- Identify boundaries: Ask yourself what feels acceptable and what does not.
- Ask for support: Standing up for yourself doesn’t have to mean standing against someone else.
Recovery from trauma doesn’t mean eliminating every trigger or reaction. Instead, it often means building awareness, finding support, and learning new ways to respond when those patterns show up.
Read more insights from Eric Dorsa in Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, on Eating Recovery Center’s website.
Headquartered in Denver, Colorado, Eating Recovery Center and Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Center is an international center for eating disorders and mood, anxiety and trauma-related disorders recovery providing comprehensive treatment for anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, depressive disorders, anxiety disorders and PTSD. We offer the full spectrum of treatment services adults, adolescents and children of all genders, including Inpatient, Residential, Partial Hospitalization and Outpatient programs. Utilizing a full continuum of care, we provide expert behavioral health and medical treatment for eating disorders and mood, anxiety and trauma-related disorders in an environment of compassion, collaboration, integrity, inclusivity, accountability and flexibility.