At its core, eating disorder recovery is about stepping outside of your comfort zone, facing fears, and repeatedly defying the voice of the eating disorder. This happens again and again, not just at the beginning, but throughout the recovery process. And yet, at some point, whether early on or further along, many people find themselves thinking that they no longer need to push or challenge themselves quite as much. They may start thinking, ‘I’ll push myself more when I feel ready,’ however for many that ‘feeling of complete readiness’ may never come.
The pull toward what feels safe makes complete sense. Humans are wired to seek comfort and familiarity. Even people who have never struggled with an eating disorder tend to gravitate toward routines and choices that feel predictable and manageable. When you are recovering from something as exhausting and anxiety provoking as an eating disorder, that desire for perceived safety can feel even stronger.
The problem is that comfort zones, while they may feel protective, rarely allow for real growth. A comfort zone can feel safe, but it is also where the eating disorder tends to stay loud and powerful. Recovery strengthens when you continue to challenge yourself in meaningful ways. This might look like trying new restaurants, facing feared or trigger foods, becoming more flexible with exercise, or resisting urges to engage in eating disorder behaviors. These challenges are about expanding your life and loosening the grip of the disorder.
In my work as a therapist supporting people with eating disorders, I often talk about the difference between being uncomfortable and being unsafe. The goal is not to overwhelm yourself or jump into situations that feel unmanageable. Instead, the aim is to feel uncomfortable in a way that is intentional and gradual. Growth almost always involves some level of anxiety. When challenges are approached thoughtfully and in small steps, they become opportunities to build confidence.
One of the biggest traps in recovery is the belief that you need to feel ready before taking action. Many people assume that confidence has to come first, and that fear must disappear before they can move forward. In reality, it usually works the opposite way. Confidence grows because you take action, not before. Fear tends to soften only after you have faced it repeatedly.
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., captured this idea beautifully in her book Feel the Fear… And Do It Anyway. She wrote about spending much of her life waiting for fear to disappear before taking risks, only to realize that fear dissolved once she actually confronted what she was avoiding. The ‘doing’ came before the fear went away. This is a powerful lesson for recovery. If you wait to feel calm or certain before challenging the eating disorder, you may end up waiting indefinitely.
Rather than trying to eliminate fear, it can be far more helpful to change your relationship to it. Feeling afraid does not mean you are failing or doing something wrong. Fear often shows up when you are doing something important. You can feel afraid and still choose to act in ways that support your recovery. Each time you do this, you weaken the authority of the eating disorder and strengthen your own sense of agency.
A big part of this work involves noticing the stories your mind tells you. Thoughts fueled by fear often sound convincing and urgent, but they are not facts. Having a thought does not make it true. Instead of trying to get rid of fear-based thoughts, it can be more effective to acknowledge them and then choose actions that align with your values. Over time, this builds trust in yourself rather than in the eating disorder.
It is also important to talk about seeking professional help. Eating disorders are notorious for telling people that they are ‘not sick enough’ or that they do not deserve support. This is a complete lie. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, and the severity of someone’s struggle cannot be measured by someone’s appearance. Someone can be deeply unwell, emotionally and physically, at any size. If you are struggling with a difficult relationship to food, you deserve support, treatment, and recovery.
Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness. It is an act of courage. No one should have to navigate recovery alone. With the right support and treatment, full recovery is possible. You do not have to wait until you ‘feel ready.’ You can start by taking one small, uncomfortable, values-aligned step today.
Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C is an eating disorder therapist & founder of The Eating Disorder Center. The Eating Disorder Center provides outpatient eating disorder therapy for teens and adults in Maryland, Virginia, Washington D.C, Pennsylvania, Florida and California, as well as eating disorder recovery coaching worldwide. Get help here.