Everyone Has a Why

May 07, 2020

There’s a reason you ended up on this site. Whether you have a loved one with an eating disorder, you have an eating disorder, or you are a professional in the field, this blog post isn’t something you just stumbled upon by a random chance of fate. If it is, you just got very lucky.

Life as we know it is a cultivation of the good, the bad, and everything in between. We all go through experiences that make us who we are and shape us into who we are destined to become. So, this is the good, the bad, and everything in between.

I started my freshman year of college at the University of Central Florida, located just three hours from my hometown. Little did I know that those three hours would consume me of guilt. During my first semester, my little sister developed Anorexia Nervosa and was admitted to a residential eating disorder treatment facility. I lived with guilt for a long time, not understanding that my leaving for college wasn’t the reason she developed an eating disorder. I then consumed all my time with articles, books, movies, really anything I could get my hands on that would educate me on the demons named E.D.

It is one year later, and my sister is alive and healthy. Her treatment team is rooting for her, her friends support her, and our family loves her unconditionally.

As for me, she inspired me. Seeing her conquer her demons, day in and day out, made me realize that she, and others who suffer from mental illness, are the real warriors and champions in this world. The feelings of guilt I once felt, are now replaced by admiration. Her eating disorder not only made her a stronger and more independent person but made me believe in hope and the ability to battle your strongest demons.

It is one year later, and I have switched my major all in hopes of being someone’s ‘person’ as they conquer their demons. Because this battle is not meant to be fought alone.

It is a cruel, belittling, and deathly disease, yet it is not talked about nearly enough.
Not enough people know what this disease entails and how it can destroy you.
Not enough people know about the warning signs of developing this monster,
Or how the monster can be so manipulative that it will isolate loved ones.

And this cruel monster did isolate me, my mother, my grandfather, and everyone who cared about her for a long time. But we couldn’t let the disease win; the alternative was too frightening. So, we fought for my sister’s LIFE and we all ended up stronger and tighter on the other side.

So, if you ask me why I do all of this, it’s because a fourteen-year-old girl was sitting in the hospital bed holding my hand as the doctor told her she might not wake up from the anesthesia.

Because not one more sister should have to hear that.

From, A Big Sister